


You Got Me Down, You Got Me Stressed Out

by HockeyShit



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: I'm not sure if you'd call this miscomunication, M/M, Matt Hunwick is mentioned all of once, also, but it's something, watch out for that one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 02:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10349904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyShit/pseuds/HockeyShit
Summary: "You really wanna hide something huh?”“No, I just don’t want nosey team mates digging through my phone” Mitch took the opportunity to take his phone back while Matt was trying to unlock it. “Please, just, leave it alone.”Of course they didn’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This 100% would not be a thing with out Jay check out their ao3 @ralndown. Seriously they put in so much work to help me make this ready for public consumption.

       Mitch guarded his phone like his life depended on it, sometimes he thought maybe it did. For sure in Juniors he would have been killed if anyone found out. Mitch wanted to think the NHL was different but he couldn’t be sure, so kept his phone close.

       Usually Mitch knew exactly where his phone was, he always put it in the same spot, the bottom left corner of his bag. It was locked with his finger print, but kept off when it wasn’t on him anyways. Sometimes the team gave him a hard time about it but he just shrugged it off. Better they think he had some secret girlfriend than they know the truth.

       “Auston give me my phone back,” Mitch tried to keep his voice playful, he knew Auston was messing with him. He knew Auston couldn’t get into his phone but it was still hard to act like this wasn’t a big deal.

      “Why are you so protective of your phone? You don’t even let me change music in the car.” He was holding the phone above his head and Mitch wasn’t going to jump for it, he wasn’t.

      “Please just give me my phone,” Mitch frowned finding it harder and harder to play along.

      “Come on Mitchy what’s your secret?” Matt had joined in and Mitch wanted to curl up and pretend this wasn’t happening. But of course it was and he couldn’t leave until he had his phone back.

      “Yeah, is it a secret girlfriend? You don’t need to keep her secret, you know Matty brings his girls around all the time.” Matt said taking Mitch’s phone from Auston’s hand. “Your fingerprint? You really wanna hide something huh?”

      “No, I just don’t want nosey team mates digging through my phone” Mitch took the opportunity to take his phone back while Matt was trying to unlock it. “Please, just, leave it alone.”

      Of course they didn’t.

      It turned into a sort of team game to try and see what Mitch was doing on his phone. He was never safe from team mates sitting behind him in the bus and on planes reaching over the seat and taking his phone from his hands. He stopped using his phone to play music in the car to and from practice with Auston and was weary around all his teammates. This only spurred them on.

      “Come on Mitch what is it? Why can’t you tell me? I’m the team dad after all,” Mo said, looking at Mitch’s phone as if he could will it to unlock itself. The team grumbled at Mo’s comment but Mitch just huffed.

      “Please, Mo. Please just give me my phone back.” He was tired. They had gotten into Arizona late last night and he hadn’t gotten a whole lot of sleep, not that he had been trying to hard.

      “Whatever it is it kept you up last night,” Hyman said and Mitch blushed.

      “I’m sorry you could have said something or-”

      “I didn’t know what you were doing, it could have been important. But if you had told me what it was...” Zach let his sentence trail off but Mitch was focused back on Mo.

      “Please, give me my phone back.”

      “Come on buddy, what is it? No one is ever this protective of their phone unless they have something big to hide. It can’t be a girl unless she’s super hot, or super ugly, do you have a kid you aren’t telling us about? Or-”

      “You’re not going to guess” Mitch said but he knew that Mo would. Eventually Mo would run out of options and he would guess it. They always did in the end and Mitch didn’t want to pretend like it wasn’t that anymore. “You’re not going to guess so just please give me my phone back,” his voice was bordering on desperate but he couldn’t help it.

      Mitch reached forward to grab his phone but Mo danced out of his reach. Mitch sighed frustrated just as Freddie walked over to Mo and plucked the phone from his hands.

      “Heads up Marns,” and the phone was lightly thrown back to him. “Not so fast off the ice I guess.”

      Mitch went to look at the notifications and let out a sigh of relief that Mo was as unobservant as he was. If he had seen the yellow and black notification, well he probably wouldn't have known what it meant anyways. But he would have asked and then the whole team would know and they would find out. He shook his head. They didn’t find out this time, but he needed to be more careful.

 

      The game that night went well enough. They won, the crowd couldn't seem to decide if they loved or hated the team. They loved Auston, and maybe that’s why for once it felt like the crowd didn’t mind too much that the home team lost. Mitch couldn’t help but wonder if it would be like this every time they came to Arizona. Once a year playing in an arena that felt like home, but a weird sort of home. Like one of your brothers had grown up far away, it was his home and Mitch was welcome but it didn’t feel right.

      Mitch didn’t think about it too much. They had won and that was all that mattered. His phone vibrated against his hip and he couldn’t help but smile. He felt like he had struck a cord with this one. Maybe - no. Mitch couldn’t let himself think like that. But still, hope fluttered in his chest whether or not he thought about it.

      A quick look over at Zach showed that he was nearly asleep, the TV still on low. Mitch rolled his eyes and unlocked his phone.

 _“How’d your night go?”_ the message read and Mitch couldn’t help but smile.

_“We won!”_

      Mitch didn’t understand how this guy, of all of them, was the one that made him feel the way he did. He didn’t have a picture of his face on his profile worried about his job, which Mitch understood. He wasn’t going to ask for one because he couldn't reciprocate. Arizona or not he wasn’t willing to put his face on a gay hookup app.

_“How was your night?”_

_“Long but the meeting went well.”_ Mitch had met enough businessmen. They were usually just in town for a few nights, looking for a hook up. He learned quickly to find the ones that would be okay with just sexting, ones that wouldn’t really want to hook up, or would be okay without meeting.

      This guy, Fred, they had met last night, Mitch opening the app after he got to his hotel room. He seemed to be in almost the same place as Mitch was, just in town for the weekend, not willing to risk anything by meeting up. No face picture, but where Mitch had a picture of his stomach and upper thighs, Fred had a picture of his back. The muscles in his back were impressive, even to Mitch who spent all of his time around guys who worked out for a living.

      The best part about Fred, Mitch thought, was that he seemed so chill. They had sexted last night and Mitch had definitely gotten off, but that wasn’t it. All day they had managed to stay in contact. It was the first time Mitch had talked about something other than sex with a hookup. Fred liked hockey

_"I was born in Europe, hockey is different there.”_

      Mitch knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t help but tell him that he was a hockey player. He played it off as being a minor league player

 _“I’m a prospect, though my NHL team keeps calling me up to camp.”_ he wouldn’t tell Fred what team he played for, that would be too much.

      Mitch smiled to himself as they said goodnight. He fell asleep imagining what Fred’s arms were like, they must be big and strong. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about falling asleep in Fred’s arms.

 

      Mitch spent the little time they had off around Christmas with his nose in his phone talking to Fred. He learned that Fred was 27, born in Norway but moved to the US early. His favorite hockey team was the Canadiens

_“But those young Leafs, they catch the eye don’t they?”_

      Mitch didn’t see the problem with telling the truth for once that the Leafs were his favorite team. They were, even if he didn’t tell Fred he played for them. Fred was always traveling which made it easy on both of them, they understood each other. Always being on the road isn’t easy, but there was something comforting about the fact that Fred always seemed to be there when Mitch was free.

 

      Mitch was even more protective of his phone after meeting Fred. Usually he could just count on getting Grindr messages at night, but now with him and Fred always talking it was more likely that he might get a message during practice. He couldn’t help but worry that one of the guys might find out. He had thought about maybe suggesting to Fred they move to an app like Kik. But there was something about keeping the conversation where they met. If they moved it, that would make it real. Mitch wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

      The team of course noticed that Mitch was even more attached to his phone. They kept stealing his phone and trying to get into it, but it never lasted very long. Either they would get bored and give up or Freddie would gang up with him on whoever had his phone and get it back.

      Things weren’t getting easier. As time went on, he and Fred got more and more involved. Mitch was waiting for when he would ask for a face picture. They had talked about almost everything, Mitch sent more dick pics to Fred than he had ever sent to anyone else combined. Waiting for the other shoe to drop was wearing on Mitch. His game wasn’t affected by it but he knew he was getting snappier with the team, that he was less able to play along with their games when they took his phone. He told himself he just needed to chill - he had disabled the notifications from popping up on his lockscreen. Still, the team was making it very hard to feel safe.

 

      Mitch didn’t think that February could ever really be a big deal. Sure it was when Valentine's day was, but Mitch didn’t have a boyfriend, hadn’t ever had a boyfriend, so he didn’t give much thought to it. He was named Rookie of the Month for January, and that was cool. But after that announcement, they were told Febuary would be Hockey is for Everyone month. That the team would host a pride night, maybe they would use pride tape. They would talk it over in management decide on that. They would have a representative that would talk about how ready the team was to support a gay player.

      Mitch couldn’t listen after that. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. He couldn't see anything. He carefully put his head in his hands and looked down at the floor. He counted his breaths, but he couldn’t calm down.

      “Hey Mitchy? You okay?” Auston was kneeling in front of him. Mitch just shook his head.

      “Okay. Can I touch you?” Another head shake.

      “Okay. Do you want to leave the locker room?” Another head shake.

      “Okay. You’re safe. It’s okay. Nothing can hurt you. You’re safe here.” Auston kept repeating that, and after a while he started counting. Auston got Mitch to focus enough to count his breaths and once Mitch could finally look up he noticed an empty dressing room.

      “Sorry I-”

      “Nothing to be sorry for Marns. Wanna talk about what triggered that? Or do you just wanna go home?”

      “Can we just go home and pretend that never happened?”

      “Sure bud.”

 

 **To Fred:** _It was super embarrassing, it’s never happened before but my buddy had to help me calm down_

 **From Fred:** _You had a panic attack in front of your team, it happens_

 **To Fred:** _it wasn't a panic attack_

 **From Fred:** _That’s what it sounds like. But hey, it sounds like you’ve got good friends._

 **To Fred:** _yeah Matty is the best_

 **From Fred:** _Your buddy has the same name as you?_

      The blood drained from Mitch’s face. He knew using the name Matt was a bad idea, but he didn’t feel comfortable using his own name. Not while he was in Toronto. Even if Mitch was using the app to just talk to Fred at this point, it’s not like he could suddenly tell Fred that his name wasn’t Matt.

 **To Fred:** _um no, that’s his last name._

 **From Fred:** _You know there can be two Matt’s on a team, when I played hockey there were two Fred’s on my team_

 **To Fred:** _my team has two Freds! Well really two Freddies! They both spell it Frederik, no ‘c’ isn’t that weird?_

 **From Fred:** _That mostly an English thing, in Norway we spell it Frederik._

 **To Fred:** _One of our Freddies is from Denmark!_

      Mitch wondered if this was too much, it wouldn’t take too much looking around to know that the Leafs goaltender was Danish. But Fred had seemed much more interested in the Leafs rookies. Maybe he wouldn’t notice, Mitch prayed he wouldn’t notice.

 

      The team always felt inclusive, but Mitch couldn’t help but wonder - if he had a boyfriend, would they mind? The talked about how it would be okay to have a gay player. At least Mo, JVR, and Hunwick did. They had done a thing for Pride night, but Mitch couldn't help but wonder if they meant it. JVR seemed to take the whole thing seriously. It would be nice, Mitch thought, to have one other person in the world know his biggest secret. That is what made up his mind. At the very least JVR was a good guy, he wouldn't tell the whole team. It would be okay.

      “Hey JVR?” Mitch tried to keep himself calm. He could bail whenever he wanted, he told himself. He could make something up or at the very least play it off as a joke.

      “Mitchy, what’s up?” JVR was getting undressed and Mitch forced himself not to watch. He knew it probably looked weird, that he was purposefully looking away, but he didn’t want to give James any extra reason to be weird about the whole thing when it was said and done.

      “Can I talk to you? Like, over lunch or something?” James looked confused but nodded.

      “Yeah, I’ll drive, you let Matty take your car. You two carpool right?”

      Mitch just nodded and took a deep breath before hurrying back to his stall. Auston was standing there waiting, so Mitch dug around in his bag to get his keys.

      “I’m gonna go get lunch with JVR. Take my car? Pick me up in the morning? I know you don’t like to drive. I could probably get him to bring me back here if you wanna find a ride home with someone else or-”

      “Mitch, chill. I’ll take your car and pick you up tomorrow okay? No big deal.” he took the keys from Mitch’s hand and walked out of the room.

Mitch knew he should wait until the relative privacy of JVR’s car to text Fred but he couldn’t calm down his beating heart.

 **To Fred:** _I’m going to come out to one of my teammates over lunch, i’m terrified but, I think it will go well. Wish me luck?_

 **From Fred:** _Good luck, tell me how it goes?_

      Mitch locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket. James was standing by his stall waiting for Mich.

      After a deep breath Mitch walked over and put on a smile. It would be okay. JVR said he would be okay with a gay player - he had taken a leadership position saying he would. If it didn’t go well, Mitch figured he had nothing to lose and he could ask Fred for a face picture.

      James didn’t say anything in the car, as if anticipating Mitch had something big to say. Like he knew that the tension in the car wouldn’t be smoothed over by small talk. When they were seated they kept just as quiet, but after they ordered, JVR broke the silence.

      They talked about hockey. James asked if Mitch kept up with the Knights or if he had heard from Dylan and the Otters. Mitch was thankful for the distraction, and when the food came they stopped talking again, the tension almost gone.

      “You didn’t ask me to take you out for lunch just so we could talk about Junior hockey did you?” JVR asked about halfway through lunch. Mitch just shook his head.

      “I’m paying, so you aren’t taking me out. We just took your car.” Mitch tried to joke. He did plan on paying, so it wasn’t a lie.

      “Hey, if you don’t want to talk about whatever it is, that’s okay. And I can buy my own lunch.”

      “No, I do wanna talk about it I’m just... not sure how to?”

      James nodded in between bites.

      “You know how I’m weird about my phone?” JVR nodded again. “Okay, I don’t have a secret girlfriend.” Mitch looked down and started picking at his napkin

      “But I do have a secret, a secret boy-” Mitch cut himself off and shook his head. “Well he’s not really that.” he could feel James getting ready to ask what was going on so he closed his eyes tight and said it:

      “What I mean is. I’m...I’m gay.”

      Mitch sucked in a deep breath. He hadn’t meant to say it like that just all at once. He had planned trying to gauge JVR’s reaction, but he hadn’t really thought about what to say. He figured he’d start with the phone and then it would progress to ‘I’m gay’ but he hadn’t planned well enough. And now he couldn’t hear if JVR was saying anything at all. He closed his eyes tight and clutched at his fork.

      “Mitch? Buddy? Hey it’s okay. I’m not angry at you. It’s okay.” JVR said over and over. _It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay._ Mitch let himself listen, and eventually let himself believe it.

      “Sorry. I’ve never told anyone, you know? Well, the guys on Grindr know but, no one who knows me knows.” Mitch smiled a little shyly but JVR just smiled.

      “Grindr?”

      “It’s like Tinder but-”

      “Mitch, I know what Grindr is. You have one? And it isn’t headline news that Mitch Marner - rookie phenom - is gay?” JVR sounded almost impressed and it made Mitch laugh.

      “They don’t know it’s me. They think my name is Matt. They don’t know what I look like, it’s just a picture of my abs and low hanging sweats. I had to buy regular sweats that didn’t have the Knights logo or the Leafs logo on them.”

      JVR laughed.

      Mitch didn’t really think past coming out. He didn’t think that JVR would care. At least not in the way that he would ask Mitch questions about the guys he was talking to. He expected James just to tell him it was okay, they would treat him the same, and that would be the end. Instead, they talked a lot about Fred. JVR wanted to say they were dating but Mitch wouldn’t let him.

      “I haven’t even seen his face.”

      “Why don’t you ask?”

      “He says he’s a hockey fan, his favorite team is the Canadiens. What do you think he would do if he found out he’s been sexiting ‘Mitch Marner - rookie pehnom’ this whole time.” Mitch asked, putting on his best JVR impression

      “I don’t sound like that. And you’re doing more than just sexting Mitch. You said you’ve been talking since the Arizona game? That’s a month and a half almost. No one just sexts for that long.”

      “Well it doesn't matter. I don’t even know what he looks like.” Mitch said and shifted a little. He didn’t really want to talk about this because he had thought about it a lot. JVR was right, no one just sexts for a month and a half. It was well beyond the casual thing Mitch usually had.

      “Hey, don’t tell the rest of the team?” Mitch asked changing the subject.

      JVR smiled and nodded.

      “Of course bro, and hey, if you ever wanna talk about him - or any guy - I don’t really know much about what you’re going through, but I’m always here. “ Mitch just nodded and waved the waitress over for their check.

      “I’ll get it this time.” James said and Mitch smiled. He talked James’s ear off the whole way to his place.

 

      Mitch didn’t know how it happened, but he slowly came out to more and more of his team. Auston was the next step. He just nodded and asked if Mitch had a boyfriend. When Mitch said no, that was the end of it. Mo was even more excited than JVR was, Matt ruffled his hair, and Bozak said something about always being there.

      Because Mitch didn’t plan coming out to the whole team, he wasn’t exactly keeping tabs on who knew and who didn’t. No one talked about it since Mitch had asked them not to. Even if he hadn’t sat down and talked to them each at lunch like he had with JVR, he always ended the conversation asking them not to tell. It felt safer that way. He didn’t want them talking about it in the the locker room. He didn’t want them talking about it at the rink at all. He didn’t want them to think about how they might think it affects his game. He was just as possessive of his phone as ever, but most of the guys stopped getting on him about it. Mitch didn’t think about telling the whole team. He told who he told when it felt like they should know. It didn’t really matter. Other than Willy, it seemed like everyone else had stopped trying to get into his phone entirely.

 

      Mitch couldn’t stop laughing the day it happened; standing in the locker room, realizing that almost everyone in the room knew he was gay. They all didn’t want to get in his phone, but somehow he had missed telling Willy. He looked at him weird before Auston chuckled.

      “You didn’t tell him, but you told Mac?” this only caused Mitch to laugh harder.

      “You don’t know what I’m hiding, I can’t believe you’re trying so hard to get into my phone. Wanna know what you’re trying to look at?”

      Willy was looking at Mitch like he had a second head, which was fair Mitch figured. He was laughing at something Willy couldn’t laugh at yet, but right now it all seemed so funny.

      “You’re trying to look at another guy’s dick,” Mitch said, which didn’t stop Willy from looking confused.

      “You can’t just tell him like that, he won’t get it.” Bozak said from across the room. It seemed like the whole locker room was laughing now.

      “Willy, I’m gay. I keep you guys out of my phone because I didn’t want you to know. You’ve all been trying really really hard to get into my phone just to see dick pics from other guys.” Willy threw Mitch’s phone at him after that, but he was smiling.

      “They better be good dick pics for how hard you were hiding them.” Mitch just smiled.

      He thought if they acknowledged it in the locker room it would make everything weird. That the team would suddenly turn away and worry about Mitch looking at him. They didn’t though. It was almost like nothing had changed. Almost.

      Mitch didn’t notice at first. Bozie had turned to talk to Zaitsev, Mo was loudly disagreeing with Gards, Auston and Willy were rough-housing, so it took a while to figure out what was wrong. Mitch didn’t have to actually count to know that the biggest body in the room wasn’t there. He looked towards the end of the room to Freddie’s stall. Freddie had always been a sort of silent partner though the whole phone thing. Always stepping in and helping Mitch get his phone back. Mitch expected to look up and see Freddie’s smirk. But when Mitch looked up Freddie wasn’t there. He wasn’t there when he had been just a second ago.

      Mitch’s face paled. The last he had seen of Freddie was when Willy was trying to get into his phone - when Mitch had come out to him, to the whole team. Anyone who didn’t already know knew now. Mitch went though the people he had told. JVR, Auston, Mo, Bozie, Leo, Matt Zaitsev, and Sosh, Jake and Lievo, Mac and Browine, and Hyman. Not Freddie. No matter how many times Mitch went through the list, he couldn’t remember telling Freddie. He quickly got dressed but pulled out his phone

 **To Fred:** _I think my goalie hates me_

      Mitch didn’t get an answer until late that night. It was the first time he had gone more than a few of his free hours without hearing from Fred, but he figured it wasn’t fair of MItch to assume that Fred would always be free. After all. Mitch was constantly leaving him to go to practice or games or to travel. He was almost asleep when his phone buzzed.

 **From Fred:** _I’m sure he doesn’t. what happened?_

      Mitch took a deep breath. He always felt bad for telling Fred everything. The guy didn’t ever dump things like this on him, and it didn’t really seem fair, but Mitch didn’t know who else to tell. He didn’t want to tell JVR that Freddie might be homophobic. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, he just wanted to tell someone who might get it. So he told Fred everything.

 **From Fred:** _maybe he was just taken off guard, or he had something to do._

 **To Fred:** _I hope so. Freddie is a good guy, one of my best friends really._

      Mitch planned on talking to Freddie the next day, but he couldn’t seem to get him alone. When finally practice was over, he planned on walking over to Freddie’s stall and just waiting there. He’d have to come over eventually, Freddie couldn't avoid him forever. But Freddie was already at his stall when Mitch walked in. He looked up just as Mitch was walking over and turned almost all the way around. Mitch frowned but kept walking. He would sort this out one way or another, even if it was painfully awkward.

      “Freddie? I want you to know that you’re one of my best friends, and that I won’t ever look at you in the locker room. And I’m sorry if me being gay, or well, you knowing about it makes you uncomfortable. But I promise I won’t ever hit on you and-” Mitch knew he was rambling but he didn’t have a plan. He just needed Freddie to know that it was okay.

      “Mitch, stop.” Mitch took a deep breath trying to settle himself before bracing himself for Freddie inevitably telling him they couldn’t be friends. Teammates of course, but not friends. Maybe not even teammates, maybe Freddie would ask to get traded. But then he’d have to tell Lou why and-

      “Mitchy, why don’t you sit down. You don’t look so good.” Freddie moved away from his stall and all but pushed Mitch down into it. “Mitch, you don’t have to say all that stuff, you being gay is fine.”

      Mitch was positive he didn’t hear Freddie right. There was no way he had heard Freddie right. It was fine? He must have said it _wasn’t_ fine. It _wasn’t_ fine that Mitch was gay.

      “Are you listening? I can get Auston if this is like, another panic attack or-”

      Mitch shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I - why does everyone think I’m having panic attacks?”

      Freddie looked a bit confused but pressed on. “It looked like a panic attack. And you know, we’re here for you for that too. If you need to talk about anything. That’s my point, you don’t have to pretend like you’re not gay, and if you have, i don’t know, something going on in your head we’re here for that too.”

      Mitch just nodded and smiled a little to himself.

      “Freddie? Can I ask you something?”

      “Sure.”

      “Why’d you run off yesterday after I told Willy, if it wasn’t because I was gay?”

      Freddie shook his head. “I don’t remember that. But I promise it wasn’t because you are gay.” Mitch nodded again and stood up. He was still in his gross practice gear so he figured he should change. He couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at Freddie and smile just a little

 

 **To Fred:** _My goalie doesn’t hate me!_

 **From Fred:** _I told you so! How’d it go?_

      Mitch smiled and settled back into the couch to tell Fred all about it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had something like this. Someone there to listen to him just talk about his day. He had his team, every team he had been on was great. He loved his teammates, but they weren't there like Fred was. He exited the chat and went to Fred’s profile. He wished he could ask for a face picture. He knew Fred was built, big and sturdy from the pictures he had gotten. It amazed Mitch. It looked like he kept up with his workout regime from when he was an athlete.

 **From Fred:** _I’m glad it worked out. He’d be an idiot to lose you._

      Mitch’s breath caught in his throat. It wasn’t like they hadn’t flirted before, it’s hard not to when you’re sending dick pics all the time. But this, this was something else, something softer and sweeter than what they had done before.

 **To Fred:** _I’m glad you think so._

 

      The home stretch was exhausting. They were fighting for a playoff spot and it was getting brutal. Mitch knew hockey was a physical sport, he had always known that. He had been told he was too small to play, but he managed. Seventy games in and he knew he was big enough to play in this league. Now though, it hurt more than ever. Their off days were spent thinking about what to do better, and icing sore muscles. So much ice. Mitch was certain he’d never want to put ice in his drink ever again after this.

      But he had Fred, he always had Fred. Fred listened to Mitch though it all. The bruises, the hits, the wins and the losses. Sometimes, Mitch would lie awake at night and think about how much nicer it would be to come home to someone to lay down with. Someone who might make hot chocolate while he got undressed, taking quietly. He’d seen it the few times he’d gone home with one of the guys. Their wife or girlfriend there to smile, win or lose. A ‘good game’ or ‘you’ll get ‘em next time.’ A cup of coffee and light gentle touches, before finally going to bed. Mitch couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Fred would do that for him. Mitch rolled over, frustrated with himself for even thinking about it. Fred wasn’t his boyfriend, he didn’t even know what Fred looked like.

 

      Mitch was surprised he could walk off the ice after that practice. They got what was coming that was for sure, a loss like that was embarrassing and a let down for the fans. They deserved it, but knowing that and being okay with it are two completely different things. Coach was right, they needed to win more games than they were. If they wanted to make it to the playoffs, they needed to win more games. Some nights it felt like they weren't even trying.

      They got back onto the bus quiet. They’d served their penance, but they were still thinking about it. The game tonight, they needed to win. They were all in their own heads.

 **To Fred:** _if we didn’t have a game tonight I’d think coach wanted us dead._

      Mitch smiled and slid down in his seat pulling his phone to his chest. He didn’t expect a reply so soon, but sure enough his phone vibrated.

 **From Fred:** _that bad?_

 **To Fred:** _it’s just hard. I’m trying so hard and i know these guys are too. But it doesn’t always work and some nights we just can’t make it happen. We can’t play right and people try to pick apart the team. It’s this person or that person or the goalie. But that’s not how team sports work. You don’t lose a four point lead because of one person._

      Mitch sighed and sat up. They were parked and Mitch wasn’t sure if he wanted to go out or not. He needed a nap, maybe some ice. Call of Duty sounded really good right now. Maybe Matty would come over. He ran through the possibilities while they milled around in the lobby, waiting to see if anyone was doing something really exciting.

 **From Fred:** _I’m sure you’ll get it on lockdown. All you can do is play your part. simple hockey you know?_

      Mitch smiled at that. He looked up from his phone to see Freddie smiling down at his. Maybe _he_ had a secret girlfriend. He’d have to ask, they could swap stories.

 **To Fred:** _That’s what coach told us. You always know exactly what to say._

      Mitch was on his way to walk over to Freddie, who was now typing. When Freddie looked up and smiled, Mitch’s phone buzzed. He looked down smiled at the message from Fred but then stopped in his tracks.

 **From Fred:** _I’m glad I can help, even just a little_.

      Mitch looked down at his phone, and then back up at Freddie, who was sliding his phone in his pocket. Mitch typed a quick message back to Fred not moving. Freddie put his hand on his pocket smiling for a brief moment.

      “Mitchy, what are you doing today?” Mitch took a deep breath, when that didn’t work he took another. And then another. Another, and another. “Mitch?”

      “It’s you.” Mitch looked down at his phone and sent a question mark to Fred and watched as Freddie put his hand on his pocket again. “It’s you.”

      “It’s me?” Freddie looked like he was trying to hide something and Mitch’s stomach sank. Suddenly wondering if he was wrong. How could he explain this if he was wrong?

      “You’re Fred.” Mitch watched Freddie’s face change, he looked like he was trying not to give himself away. Like he was fighting a smile.

      “Yeah.” Mitch shook his head

      “No. That means-” Mitch could feel the tears welling up. He was filled with a rush of mixed feelings. Mostly he was confused. Freddie knew everything.

      “Mitch-”

      “No I-”Mitch shifted from foot to foot, the grip on his phone tightening. He looked around. The rest of the team had cleared out. Mitch closed his eyes tight, willing the tears away.

      “Look, Mitch, I’m-”

      “No, it’s okay. I’m gonna...”

      “Mitch?”

      “Yeah. I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you around.”

      Mitch turned around and tried to walk away calmly, telling himself it was okay. He was glad to see that Zach wasn’t in the room. His phone started buzzing with a call from Freddie. He closed it and took a deep breath. The feeling of being on the verge tears had left. He didn’t feel quite as scared any more, but that feeling was replaced with something else. Mitch really didn’t want to think about it.

      “Pre-game nap. Wake up. Get food with Auston. Come back, get dressed and head to the game.” Mitch said out loud, taking another deep breath.

 

      Mitch woke up when Zach kicked his bed

      “Marns, wake up! Auston is going to beat down the door!”

      “Why don’t you just let him in?” Mitch yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He had slept longer than he planned to. When he looked at his phone he realized he hadn’t set an alarm.

      “He’s your friend.” Mitch shook his head and walked over to the door, he opened it and had to duck out of the way of Auston’s hand ready to start knocking again.

      “Watch it.”

      Auston just laughed. “Come on, I’m starving.”

      Mitch rolled his eyes, walking back in the room. He shoved his shoes on his feet and grabbed his phone and wallet. He was almost out of the room when something hit him in the back of the head.

      “Don’t forget your hat.”

      “Thanks Hymie” Mitch fell in step next to Auston and unlocked his phone. One more call from Freddie, and three text messages. His step faltered when he thought about opening them.

      “Trouble in paradise?” Auston asked nudging Mitch with his shoulder.

      “Shut up, no. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

      “Yeah, but that guy Fred?” Mitch just shook his head. “That sucks man I’m sorry.”

      Mitch shrugged.

      “So where are we eating?”

      “JVR told me about this place. We trust JVR, right?”

 

      Logically, Mitch knew he couldn't avoid Freddie forever. They were on the same team, they were friends, even if they weren’t best friends. Mitch just needed time to think about this., to think about what was going on, what he felt about all this. He wasn’t mad, it wasn’t like he had told Fred who he was. But, Freddie knew. Freddie knew, and he didn’t say anything. Then Mitch thought about what he had told Freddie. It wasn’t just the stuff about the team, or games, he’d tell his mom that stuff. It was about how scared he was to be gay, how much he just wished he could have a boyfriend. He never told anyone that, and now someone knew, someone he didn’t even intend on telling.

      Practices were awkward. Freddie for his part tried to make it all seem normal. He tried greeting Mitch like they usually did, tried hanging out while they warmed up for practice. Mitch stayed away from Freddie as much as he could, purposefully putting himself on the other side of the room if he could.

 **From Freddie:** _We can pretend this didn’t happen if you want_

      Mitch wasn’t one to ignore text messages, but the fact that the text was come from Freddie’s phone number and not Fred on Grindr unsettled him. Not only did Freddie know everything about him, but Mitch couldn’t seem to reconcile Freddie and Fred. They were the same person, he knew this now, but in his head he couldn’t make them the same.

      Mitch went two days before someone noticed

      “Hey, are you and Freddie alright?” a freshly showered JVR was standing behind him and Mitch wanted to laugh.

      “Freddie and I are fine.”

      “He’s not being… Are you sure?”

      “I promise. Don’t be so worried, you’re not my dad.” Mitch smiled up at JVR and hoped it looked convincing.

      “Of course he’s not your dad, I’m your dad.”

      “For Christ’s sake Mo, shut up about that!” Mitch smiled for real this time and laughed a little.

      “You can’t be my dad, Mac is my dad, and he takes good care of me.”

      Curtis looked up almost surprised that he was pulled into it. But he was smiling when Mitch caught his eye and winked, Mac just shook his head smiling.

 

      Mitch was laying in bed, a whole night in his own bed was becoming one of his favorite things. He sighed and set an alarm on his phone and he answered Auston’s text promising to pick him up. His finger hovered over Freddie’s text thread. He didn’t open it, he wasn’t going to text Freddie because he was lonely. He’d find a boyfriend, or another guy, someone who wasn’t his goalie. Mitch shook his head and set his phone on his nightstand.

      Mitch couldn’t stop thinking about Freddie after that. It wasn’t like anything had changed. Fred was just, not a businessman. Fred wasn’t actually a Habs fan. He still traveled a lot, but he wasn’t Norwegian, or a _former_ hockey player. He still loved his family and missed his home. He probably even still cared about Mitch. If he would just talk to Freddie, he might not be laying here alone. He had spent nights staring at that picture of Freddie’s back, and now that he knew it was Freddie, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

 **To Freddie:** _hey are you awake?_

      Mitch knew it was dumb. He was supposed to pretend like it didn’t happen, wait for it to go away and hope Freddie forgot everything Mitch had told him. Mitch knew that that wasn’t what would happen. It seemed like playoffs were around the corner, and it was probably better to get this out of the way now than leave it for after their post-season run.

 **From Freddie:** _Mitch? what are you doing awake?_

 **To Freddie:** _Did I wake you up? Sorry it’s not a big deal._

      Mitch went to set his phone on the night stand again when it started ringing. Mitch thought about not answering ,but smiled a little to himself and did it anyways.

      “Freddie, you didn’t have to call.”

      “Mitch… What’s up?”

      Mitch shook his head and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders and sighed.

      “I was just… I was thinking about you and. Yeah I was just, thinking about you.”

      Freddie was quiet on the other end for a while. Mitch thought he might have fallen asleep but then there there was movement like Freddie was sitting up, a sigh and a bit more of a pause.

      “Mitch, we don’t have to talk about this. We can just drop it and pretend like it never happened.”

      Now it was Mitch’s turn to be quiet. Freddie was giving him an out. He could take this, and they would never have to think about it again. It was what he thought he wanted, what he had been looking for.

      “No. I think we should, maybe not now, it’s late, but…”

      “Sure Mitch, whatever you want.” Mitch blushed at that.

      Freddie had said things like that to him before, when Mitch didn’t know it was him. But to hear him say it now made his toes curl.

      “I want….” Mitch didn’t know what he wanted, he sighed in frustration.

      “Hey, that’s okay. Wanna tell me about your day?” Mitch laughed at that.

      “Freddie, you were there for most of it.”

      “Never stopped me from asking before.” That got Mitch’s laugh to stop. It was true. It wasn’t like all of a sudden Fred became Freddie, it was always Freddie from the very first day.

      “When did you know?” This got another long pause, so Mitch settled in. He put his phone on speaker and curled around it, waiting.

      “That first night, after the sexting. You were telling me about the game, about how your goalie got his first shutout since he’s been on the team, how the next game was important in this weird way you couldn’t place.”  

      “That’s… Freddie that’s the whole time! Why didn't you tell me?” Mitch tried pulling the blanket around him tighter, tried to settle deeper into the bed.

      “I thought we weren’t talking about this right now.” Mitch could hear Freddie’s smile. It was one of the soft ones that happen when he’s caught off guard by something that makes him smile.

      “Frreedddiieee”

      “You couldn’t whine at me through text.”

      Mitch listened to Freddie laugh a bit to himself and it made his heart clench. Maybe he could have this. Maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal that Freddie knew everything about him. Maybe.

      “You weren't out. It made sense in my head that I wouldn’t tell you, because you weren't out. That day you came out to Willy in the locker room. It really did catch me off guard. I knew you were coming out to the team, but it was, I wasn’t sure why it was different. It was the first time I had heard you say it.”

      “Why didn’t you tell me after that?”

      “I didn’t know how you’d react. I didn’t want, well, I didn’t want what happened to happen.”

      Mitch frowned at that. He hadn’t really given too much thought about what Freddie was losing when Mitch just walked away like that.

      “I’m sorry, I-”

      “Mitch, don’t be. I should have told you sooner. I didn’t even tell you, you had to figure it out.”

      “It’s not your fault.” Mitch tried to sound convinced, he didn’t want Freddie to feel bad about this. “It’s not like they teach people how to deal with this.”

      Freddie laughed at that. Mitch smiled but was interrupted by a yawn.

      “You should go to bed.”

      “I don’t wanna.”

      “Mitch, it’s late, we can talk tomorrow.” Freddie’s voice was soft, and Mitch was smiling again.

      “I thought about it, all the time. I thought about what it would be like to have you laying next to me while I feel asleep.”

      “Me too, Mitch.”

      He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to say goodnight or hang up and he wondered if Freddie would just stay on the phone until they both fell asleep. After a bit, Mitch heard moving like Freddie was laying back down, but he didn’t say anything. Mitch closed his eyes again.

 

      Mitch woke up three minutes before his alarm and sighed. If that’s what today was going to be, then so be it. He pulled his phone closer to go turn off the alarm, when he saw he was still on the phone with Freddie. Suddenly, last night came rushing back to Mitch and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

 **To Freddie:** _I’ll see you at practice_

      Mitch’s finger hovered over the heart emoji. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sent it to Freddie yet, but that was before he knew. No matter how Mitch thought about it, this was different. He left it out and made breakfast instead.

 **From Freddie:** _we should get together after. lunch?_

 **To Freddie:** _I’d like that._

 

      Mitch wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around Freddie now. He walked into the dressing room, and it wasn’t like this was the first time they had seen each other since Mitch found out, but it was the first time since he’d acknowledged it. That meant something, Mitch just didn’t know what.

      Freddie looked up when Auston and Mitch walked in, but he just smiled and went back to getting dressed. Mitch wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. He missed what Auston said and just nodded. Auston caught his bluff and shoved him.

      Mitch expected it to be awkward, but it wasn’t. Freddie was the same as he always was. His quiet joking, the soft stick taps, and gentle smiles. It settled Mitch. Nothing major had changed. The team seemed settled, as if they could tell Mitch wasn’t actively avoiding Freddie anymore. It seemed natural.

      After practice, Mitch focused on not rushing. He talked to the media, showered, and changed. He did his best to not look over at Freddie, there would be time for that. He was tying his shoes when a hand landed on his shoulder startling him.

      “Hey, ready?” Freddie was smiling the soft smile he usually kept to himself.

      “Yeah, let’s go?”

      Mitch couldn't help but think about how much this felt like the day he came out to JVR. They were quiet in the car. Mitch didn’t even ask where they were going. Freddie didn’t play any music, didn’t say anything. It was just, quiet. Mitch wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something, anything, just to break this silence. Freddie hadn’t stopped smiling though, so something was going right.

      Mich was sure he hadn’t ever been to the place Freddie pulled up to, but he trusted him at the very least, to not let him get food poisoning. Freddie was still smiling when they sat down. It stayed quiet for a bit. Mitch busied himself with the menu but soon found he didn’t recognize anything on it.

      “Freddie? What is this?”

      Freddie blushed but didn’t ever stop smiling. “It’s a Scandinavian place I found.”

      “Tell me what’s good?”

      Freddie nodded and leaned over pointing things out and Mitch couldn’t help but smile as well. They got stuck on two different dishes, Freddie not being much help at all. Mitch just shook his head.

      “What if we get them both, and we can share?”

      Freddie looked up at that and nodded. “I like the way you think.”

      After they ordered. Mitch expected it to be awkward, but Freddie just started talking. At first, he talked about how this food reminded him of home. Then he talked about home. It was almost like Freddie refused to let it be awkward.

      They quieted when their food got there. Mitch would never admit it to Freddie, but he had been a little apprehensive about the purple cornmeal pancakes. He was more than happy to be wrong. He probably would have eaten both of them, but Freddie reached over more than once to take some with his fork. It worked out well, until they were down to the last bit of the pancakes. Mitch tried as best he could to fend Freddie’s fork off but he missed out. He pouted when Freddie moved his fork off the plate and wasn’t ready for Freddie to hold the fork in front of him. Mitch blushed, but took the bite.

      Freddie also insisted that he pay and Mitch didn’t know how to feel about that,It wasn’t that he didn’t want it to be a date, but the uncertainty of it made him embarrassed. Freddie was so relaxed in all this.

      “We have two choices. I can take you home, or you can come over to my place.” Freddie said as soon as they got into the car.

      “Three, you could come over to my place.”

      “Three choices then. Whatever you want.”

      Mitch nodded and thought about it. It wouldn’t make sense to go to Freddie’s place, he’d only have to drive Mitch back home. He wanted to spend more time with Freddie, but he wasn’t sure what that would mean.

      “Was that a date?” he blushed right away. and went to look out the window.

      “I had hoped so.” Freddie said and Mitch peaked over at Freddie who was smiling.

      “And if we go back to my place…”

      “We don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

      Mitch nodded.

      “Let’s do that.”

      Mitch tried not to think about getting nervous, it was just Freddie. He’d spent time with Freddie before. Not alone, but this was what he wanted. He’d spent how many nights thinking about doing just this? Freddie didn’t break the silence this time and Mitch wondered if he should maybe talk about something. He wasn’t sure what, but there had to be something. He was about to start talking about Junior hockey like he had with JVR, when they reached a red light and Freddie spoke up

      “Mitch, you’ve over thinking this.” Mitch knew he was right, but he couldn’t help it.

      “Sorry.”

      “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

      Mitch could only nod and slide down his seat a little.

      “Mitch, we don’t have to do anything. We can just play video games sitting on opposite ends of the couch if that makes you comfortable, or I can just take you back home and, and we’ll pretend like we never did this. We can do that too.”

      Mitch just nodded again.

      “Mitch? What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Can we talk about this at my place?”

      Freddie nodded. Mitch spent the rest of the drive trying to find a way to explain all this to Freddie. He’d spent months poring his heart out to Freddie without knowing it was him, he didn’t know it was a teammate. Mitch wasn’t sure why that was different, it was Freddie the whole time, and looking back on some of the conversations he saw Freddie’s mannerisms. Freddie was always there, he had always gotten between Mitch and the team when it came to Mitch’s phone, but after Arizona, it happened more often.

      When they pulled into the parking garage, Mitch took a deep breath and smiled at Freddie, leading the way to his place. Mitch grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, threw one to Freddie and then just stood there.

      “We should… talk.” Mitch finally said but he didn’t look up, he didn’t move.

      “Yes, we should.” Freddie agreed and leaned on the wall smiling.

      “I don’t.” Mitch made a frustrated noise and sighed.

      “Hey, why don’t you tell me what you think we should talk about, and then I’ll go first.” Mitch liked the way Freddie’s voice softened.

      “I don’t know. I just, this is a lot. That was a date, and I’ve never...”

      “You’ve never been on a date?” Mitch looked up at the surprise in Freddie’s voice.

      “Of course I’ve been on a date before. I just mean, even in Juniors, I didn’t ever, I’ve never been on a date with a guy, or...any of it?” Freddie nodded and waited a bit, expecting Mitch to go on but he was already picking at the label on his bottle.

      “That’s okay. It’s not easy to do in our position.” Mitch just nodded. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

      “No. Maybe. I just, I don’t know what’s going on. And you knew the whole time. You knew, and I don’t know how I feel about that. You know everything about me, I think. You know things no one else does.”

      “I’m still sorry about that.”

      “I’m just trying to explain that, Freddie, I don’t know what we’re doing.”

      “We’ve talked a lot about what we want to be doing.” Freddie said and Mitch shook his head.

      “That’s another problem. I’m having a hard time going from Fred to Freddie.”

      “Is there something I can do to help or?” Mitch shook his head again. They stood in silence. The silence dragged on this time. Freddie was watching Mitch, but Mitch was picking at the label on the water bottle again.

      “Hug me.” Mitch finally said, looking up at Freddie.

      “What?” Freddie was already moving forward.

      “Hug me.” Mitch looked up at Freddie resolutely. Freddie finished walking over and pulled Mitch in to hug. Mitch let himself relax into it, let Freddie hold him.

      “This isn’t going to fix it. We still need to talk.” Mitch nodded but didn’t move. Freddie didn’t either, they just stood there hugging.

      “Can we just, play video games right now?” Freddie sighed but nodded.

      “Call of Duty?”

      “How is that even a question?”

 

      They spent most of the evening playing Call of Duty. Mitch was positive they didn’t start out sitting this close to each other, but he didn’t mind. Freddie gave off a certain warmth. It was almost calming.

      “You’re screen cheating!” Mitch sat back pouting.

      “I am not! Come on, one more then we can get dinner.” Mitch nodded restarting the game.

      “You are totally screen cheating!” Mitch shoved his hand in front of Freddie’s face laughing. Freddie pushed his arm out of the way. Mitch went back to the game, a smile on his face.

      “Freddie!” Mitch was back to sticking his hand in front of Freddie’s face. Freddie gave him a little shove and Mitch just pouted. “You’re cheating.”

      “You’re still winning.” But Mitch still pushed at him. Freddie pushed back causing Mitch to drop his controller.

      “Freddie!” Mitch turned towards Freddie and tried to get the controller out of his hands. They wrestled around on the couch before falling on the floor. Mitch knew it was a losing fight but he tried his best to get one up on Freddie. Freddie couldn’t be trying his hardest. Mitch knew, if Freddie really wanted, to he’d have Mitch pinned under him without a problem.

      There was something satisfying about this, Mitch thought. Something about the whole situation finally seeming to reach its breaking point. Mitch put that much more work into getting the best of Freddie. Freddie pushed back and Mitch wasn’t sure how much more he could push.

      Eventually, Freddie ended up sitting on Mitch’s hips. He reached up to try and push him off, Freddie just laughed.

      “You’re heavy, get of!,” Mitch wiggled and Freddie held his hands up and rolled off of Mitch and layed down beside him. Mitch turned his head to grin at Freddie.

      “Do you want me to-”

      “No, lets just stay like this for a bit,” Mitch stared up at the ceiling.

      Mitch thought they could just lay there forever. Their shoulders almost touching, close enough that he could feel the heat coming off Freddie. Mitch wasn’t sure how long they layed like that before Freddie reached over to hold his hand. Mitch gave his hand a little squeeze.

      “It’s weird, that you know everything about me, and I knew you, but I didn’t know who I was talking to.”

      “Mitch I-”

      “No, it’s okay. If you would have told me who you were I wouldn’t have kept talking to you. Even if I didn’t know it was you at the time, I loved talking to you. I told everyone about how much I loved talking to you.” Mitch blushed “I told _you_ how much I loved talking to you.”

      “I loved talking to you too, I still do love talking to you” Freddie had turned his head to look at Mitch.

      “I really like you Freddie.” Mitch kept staring at the ceiling while Freddie rubbed his thumb over the back of Mitch’s hand.

      “I really like you too Mitch.” Mitch turned his head at that, his face inches from Freddie’s. Mitch rolled over onto his side. “Can I kiss you?”

      Mitch nodded, so Freddie rolled over and kissed him.

      It wasn’t like Mitch had never kissed anyone. He’d had girlfriends, of course he had. He’d thought a lot about what kissing a guy might be like compared to that. Mitch supposed that perhaps the difference was this was _Freddie_. But the hand that came up to cup his cheek was bigger than any girl’s hand had been

      Freddie pulled back and Mitch’s breath caught in his throat. Freddie was smiling, a light blush over the tops of his cheeks. Mitch thought if he could stay right here for the rest of his life he would be happy.  

      Freddie, apparently, wasn’t going to lay there forever. He rolled back on his back but his smile didn’t fade. “We need to get something to eat.”

      “Pizza?”

      “Pizza?” Freddie sounded almost confused.

      “Yeah let’s order pizza.”

      Freddie laughed and shook his head. “That’s not a good idea, we have to skate in the morning.”

      “Please?”

      “How about I cook instead?” Freddie asked, sitting up.

      “Fine. But not Chicken and Pasta, that’s all Auston can cook.”

      “And what can you cook?” Freddie smirked looking down at Mitch.

      “That’s not the point!”

 

      Freddie did make chicken and pasta, it was all Mitch had around. They ate quietly. Mitch wasn’t sure what to say and Freddie seemed content in the quiet. Mitch couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a meal with someone where they didn’t talk, not even a little. When they were done, Mitch started on the dishes, telling Freddie to go find something to watch on the TV. The Bruins were playing the Rangers and they could watch that if nothing else. But Freddie didn’t leave.

      “I’ll dry?”

      Mitch smiled up at Freddie and grabbed a towel bumping Freddie’s hip while handing it to him. “Yeah, okay.”

      Mitch wasn’t used to the quiet, he was always going on about something or another. But this was okay. Freddie was quiet, Mitch knew that. Even when Freddie was Fred, there was a sort of quiet to their relationship. Even though they only ever IM’d, there was something about Freddie that was just quiet.

      So Mitch washed dishes and handed them to Freddie. Every now and then their hands would brush and they’d smile at each other and then keep going. It was easy in a way Mitch didn’t think this ever would be.

      “We should watch a movie… or something.” Mitch said as soon as all the dishes were put away.

      “Or something?” Mitch blushed and shoved Freddie.

      “You know what I mean.”

      “Mitch, we’ve talked about sex, you don’t have to act like we haven’t.”

      “... Kiss me?”

 

      Mitch didn’t have a plan for that night. They were just supposed to talk. Call of Duty and dinner weren't supposed to happen. And this, this really wasn’t supposed to happen.

      If someone had told Mitch three months ago that he would end up in bed with a teammate, he wouldn't have believed them. But here he was. And it was definitely Freddie’s chest he way lying on.

      “You should sleep, we have to get up tomorrow,” Freddie whispered running a hand through Mitch’s hair.

      “You too.” but Freddie’s breathing was already slowing. Mitch smiled to himself and kissed Freddie’s chest.

      He leaned over to plug his phone in, but then had a better idea. He smiled to himself and turned back to Freddie.

      “Hey Freddie?” He just made a sleepy noise. “Can we take a selfie?”

      “Right now?” Freddie had opened his eyes and as squinting at Mitch.

      “Yeah.” Freddie smiled a bit and pulled Match almost on top of him.

      “Hand me your phone, my arms are longer.” Mitch cuddled into Freddie’s side while Freddie pulled up the camera. He smiled as he took the picture, hoping that he looked as happy as he felt. “There. If it’s not good enough we’ll take a better one in the morning.”  

      When Mitch looked though, it was good enough. He smiled and set it as his homescreen. Someday it could be his lockscreen, but for now, this was good enough. He looked at the picture one last time before pulling up his applications. ‘Are you sure you want to delete Grindr?’ Mitch couldn't help but smile as he hit accept. He leaned over to plug his phone back in, locking it, before turning back to Freddie and falling asleep.

 


End file.
